Randomness and Emmettness
by 3liana
Summary: **RE-NAMED** Random Days mostly involving Emmett and Jasper. Basicly what the title says lol
1. KICKBALL!

every once and while i'll chage it to nicknames,but u'll know whos-who

* * *

Eliana-"what r we gonna do?"

Emmett-"WE'RE GONNA PLAY-"

*DRUMROLL*

Emmett-"KICKBALL!!!!!"

Jasper-"and eddies gonna play!!!'

Eddie-"don't call me eddie!"

All-"fine"

Emmett-"Edward goes first!!!"

Eddi-ward-"fine *kicks the ball and it goes to the sun*"MY SHOE!!!!!!!!!"

Emmett-"I guess were going to the sun"

Eliana-"with ur power?"

Emmett-*takes us to the sun*"yup"

Jasper-*starts singing*"ITS HOT IN HEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEEEEEEEE"

Eddie-"theres my shoe!!!"

Eliana-"eww its all melt-y and stuff"

Emmett-"that looks like what I did to alices sho-never mind"

Jasper-"shez gonna be madddddddddddd"

Spongebob-*laughs*

Jasper-*sees spongebob*"CHEESE!!!!!!!!!"  
Eliana-"JASPER THAT'S NOT-"

Jasper-*eating spongebob*

Patrick Star-"duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"  
Emmett-"my hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Eliana-"okkkkkkkkkkkkkk"

Eddie-"this is so weird"

Jacob-"what is going on here? Are we in another one of someones dreams?"

Eliana-"no I don't think so"

Jasper-"I'M DONE!!!!!!!!"  
Emmett-"WHERE DID PATRICK GO???"  
Eliana-"He ran away. Emmett we should get back, we need to get your jeep out of therapy and pick up my friend"

Emmett-"fine everyone join hands"

Jake-"I'm not doing that!"

Jasper-"see no one fell for it!!!"

Emmett*swears and takes everyone to his jeep* "hop in"

*everyone gets in*

Eliana-"I guess that's the end of the adventure!!!"

Emmett-"or is it?"

Jasper-"o no"

Emmett-"o yes!"*drives fast and we end up in 1900*

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!! WILL WEE EVER GET BACK TO OUR TIME???? TO BE CONTINUED


	2. ONESHOT

Sorry for not updating. To show how sorry I am, i decide to post a one shot. I might post part of the PART 2 and it might be like 5 parts, but you still get something.

* * *

WELCOME TO IEMMETT!!!!!WEZ HERE WITH NESSIE!!!!

Bella-"RENESMEE!!!"

Eliana-"fine were here with Renesmee"glares at bella"cuz emmett has to baby sit her"

Emmett-"the job sucks!"

Jaz-"ur not getting paid!"

Eliana-"that sucks"

Emmett-*sad face*

Eliana-"emmett,i think i saw u driving here"

Jaz-"y?"

ELiana-"ciz the lisence plate said '46DUCKY'

Jazz-"yup thats his new car"

Esme-"EMMETT WHEN DID U GET A NEW CAR?"

Nessie-gigles

Emmett-"it was a gift"

Eliana-"right now emmett is dressed up like a girl"

Emmett-"it feels weird!!"

Jazz-"yea and hes gonna get on he top of a car and dance!"

Eliana-"Yay lets start!!!"

Ness-"ok!

"Edward-"i drive!!!"

Jaz-"what ev"

WE STARTED DRIVING AROUND THE BLOCK OF MY HOUSE

*PO PO SIRENS*

Eliana-"THE PO PO R HERE!!"

Nessie-"what r the po po?"

Eliana-"the police"

Emmett-"DONT LET THEM FIND ME!!!"

Jaz-"EDDIE PULL OVER!!!!"

Eddie-"i thougth i told u guys to stop calling me eddie!!!"

Eliana-"in an un published episode so it dosent count"

Nessie-"y wasent it published?"

Eliana-"cuz i was to lazy to publish it"

Eddie-"and u want a bigger adiance to post it cuz u plan"

Jaz-"SHUSH UR MIND READING ABILITY!!! THE PO PO R BEHIND US!!!" WELCOME BACK!!!!! FROM WHERE WE LEFT OF EMMETT JUST GOT ARESTED AND WE WERE TO BUSY SING TO RELIZE R GONNA TRY TO GET HIM OUT!!!!

Eddie-"I PUT MY HEAD UP NODDEN MY HEAD LIKE YEAH!!!"

Jazzy-"wheres emmett?"

Eliana-"i think hes in jail"

Eddie-"ur thinking about pie"

Eliana-sticks tonge out

Jazz-"lets just get him out"

Eddie-"i wanna sing first!!"

Eliana"fine what song do u wanna sing in front of many people?"

Jaz-"O I GOT IT!!!"

Eliana-"LETS SING"

*FIVE EPIC SONGS LATER*

Jasper-"Everyone know the plan?"

Eliana-"...we dont have a plan yet"

Eddie-" LET RUN THE CAR INTO THE WALL!!!!!!"

*everyone cheers*

Reneesme-*starts driving then car breaks down*

Eliana-"EDDIEAND JAZZ GET OUT AND PUSH!!!!!!"

Eddie&Jazz-"fine"

*MEAN WHILE*

Emmett-*sitting next to big scary guy* "Umm.. Hi?"

Big Scary Guy(BSG)-"Shut up"

Emmett-"Why?"

BSG-*gives Emmett evil look*

Emmett-*Shuts up*

*three hours later*

Jasper-*out of breath*"How far have we gone?"

Eliana-"About three inches from where we used to be."

Eddie-"Isnt that the jail right there?"

Eliana-"I knew you would see it some time."

Jasper-*passes out*

Eliana-"EMBRY!!!!!!!"(i forgot to mention, embry imprint on her/me)

Embry-"Yes?"

Eliana-"Can you through the car into the wall?"

Embry-"Pshh that to easy"*throws the car into the wall then goes back to what ever he was doing*

*nobody relizes that renesmee was still in the car*

Renesmee-"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"*falls in emmetts cage*

Emmett-"NESSIE!!!!!!!!"

BSG-"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!"

Emmett-"RUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!"

Em&Ness-*run*

Jasper-"YAY UR BACK!!!!!!!!"

Emmett- "RUN AWAYYYYYYY"

ANY THEY ALL RAN FROM THE BSG UNTIL BSG GOT BACK INTO JAIL.

THE END....OF THE ONE SHOT!!!!!!!!

* * *

so anyone going to the NEW MOON DVD RELESE PART-AY?????????? I AM!!!!!!!


	3. DORA I MEAN BUFFY!

Eliana-"nice going Emmett"

Emmett-"not my fault"

Jasper- "yes it is"

Emmett-"whose side are you on?"

Jasper-"mine"  
1990 lady-"who are you people?"*looks at Edward* "you look like how I want my son to look!"

Eliana, Emmett, and Jasper-*confused*

Edward-"ummmm"

Eliana, Emmett, and Jasper-"ummm"

Edward- *gives Eliana, Emmett, and Jasper the I'll tell you who she is later*

Eddies Mommy-"well bye now"

Everyone-WTF!!!!!

* Dora the explorer comes in*

Emmett-"A HOBO!!!!!!"

Eliana-*elbows Emmett*

Dora-"WHERES BOOTS?!?!?!??!"*red eyes*

Jasper-"RUN!!!!!!!!!!"

Emmett-"pshh runnings for losers! Whats a kid that knows languages gonna do?"

Dora-*truns into Buffy the Vampire Slayer*  
The Vampires-"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I WARND UUUUUUUUUU it would be short!!!! I'm gonna start another story(not Irs Life a different one)that I need to start it was a request so………. Yeah.


	4. Glitter Puke

A/N sorry for not updating! school decided to take over my life(i hav an essay and power point due next week and i barely started).its not gonna be that funny cuz...i dont hav a reasonable excuse... so here it is:

WARNING: there will be LOTS of spelling mistakes, incorret capitazation and slapping a starfish. you hav been warned

Vampires-*out of breath*

Eliana-*walked the whole way*

Emmett-*panting* I so hate you right now.

Jasper- you shouldnt be panting emmett. your a vampire.

Emmett- where are we any way?

Everyone-*strugs*

*lady walks by*

Emmett-excuse me where are we?

women-idaho

*everyone besides lady laughs*(get it? i-da-ho?)

women-i dont see whats so funny hmp *flips her hair and walks away.*

*theres a random earthquake*

Edward-AHHHH SOMEONE CALL 911!EARTHQUAKE!

Emmett-*thinks of the song fire burning by sean kingston and starts singing and dancing*

Jasper-*pulles out his cell phone* wow they hav better reseption then in the future!

Eliana-*runz in circles* EARTHQUAKE!RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

*people start running in circles screaming*

Emmett-*still singing and dancing*

Eliana-*gets bored of running in circles so just dances*

Edward-hey when can we go?

Emmett-right no-

Patrick star-YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!*slaps jasper*

Jasper-*gasps and slaps back*

patrick-*gasps and slaps back*

*a long time later the same thing is going on.*

Emmett-*watching like its an interesting movie*

Eliana-*some how got popcorn and is throwing it and thm*

Edward-*snuck off to find something else to do.*

Eliana-THIS IS THE BORINGEST THING EVER!EMMETT TAKE US BACK NOW!

Emmett- gosh fine*poofs us to the present/future what everthing*

Jasper-my face hurts

Eliana-*rolls eyes* ur fault you slapt a star fish all day.

Emmett-i wanna go to space

Jasper-YAY!

Eliana-N-

*on the moon*

eliana-*does the moon walk* this might not be so bad after all!

Emmett-I CANT BE TAMED I CANT BE CHANGED I CANT BE...SOMETHING

Eliana-wow you cant be something? then ur human :O i though u were a vampire!*doing the jerk*this is awesome! i cant even do the jerk on earth!

Emmett-*doing bad romance dance*

Eliana-wtf is the bad ramnce dance?

Emmett-idk but its on youtube

Jasper-where did edward go?

Edward-*behind jasper*RAWR!

Jasper-*shriks like a little .thas an inncolt to girls everywhere. he shriked like a little jasper*

Eliana-*singing*wake up in the morning feelin greener the in a tub can really-

Emmett-O.O what r u singing?

Eliana-GLITTER PUKE!

Everyone else-O.o

Eliana-:O how dare u!

*everyone somehow gets back on earth*

eliana-*never stopped doing the jerk on the moon so falls back on the floor* OWWW!

Emmett-I didnt do it!

eliana-u better not hav or i would hav to go werewolf on your ass*growls*

emmett-*shriks like a little jasper*

eliana-MUAHAHAHAHA COUGH COUGH

Edward-***************DE ENDS*************** for now

Emmett and jazz- WHAT NOW SUCK-A!

this wasnt as funny or random as the other stuff but im working on. thnx and if u hav any random ideas u'll let me use, review it or PM it

***BTW*** Glitter Puke is a really song. Its on youtube and from the key of awesome you can download the song on iTunes I think.


	5. Pink Bunny in the FBI

A/N i got no reviews in the last one :( im not a review begger its just idk what people liked, what i should work on with that said:

eliana-*singing* my first kiss went alittle like this *makes kiss sound* and twist *kiss sound* and twist

Emmett & Jazz-WTF r u singing?

Eliana-My first kiss by 3oh!3 feat Ke$ha duh!

Jazz-how was ur first kiss, emmett?

Emmett- uuuuhhhhhh

*********FLASHBACK***********

Emmett- hey y dont you mak ur lips like a fishy and close ur eyes?(their only like 5,k?)

Girl(i'll call her...Kate)- OK!*puts lips like a fishy and closes eyes*

Emmett-*kisses her*

Kate-*slaps him and does some other vilence that should be impossible for a 5 year old to do*

*****5 minutes later******

Emmett-*in the ER*

************END OF WEIRD FLASHBACK*************

Emmett-i dont like thinking about it...

eliana-you do know we all saw that flashback right?

Emmett-umm... a purple llama goes quack?

Eliana-then dogs go moo.

Jasper-what sound does a blue monkeys make?

emmett and eliana-O.O what r u smokin and why didnt u give us any?

Jasper-ummmm I HAVE A PINK BUNNY IN THE FBI!

Eliana-*whispers 2 emmett* hes defently on something

Emmett-how dare you not share it!

Eliana-what are u on?

Jasper-*random drum roll* cake frosting

studio aduance that came over to eat pie-*GASP*

Emmett-HOW dare you!

Eliana-*thinks* well im on ice cream, so im gonna go get my fix and come back*runs out the door*

Emmett-im on hannah montana! :D

Jasper-im just gonna go then...

Eliana-*comes backin. there is ice cream around her face*im good now.

Emmett-RANDOM SONG TIME!

Eliana-YAY! Im made of cupcakes Ice cream and flowers!

Jazz and Emmett-O.O

Elian-u havnt heard that yet? omg! go on youtube right now and look up the key of awesome now!gosh!

Emmett-:p

Jazz-ahh! theirs something in my eye!

Elli&Em-and we care y?

J-cuz ur my...idk friends!

Elli-ur a it up

Jassper-*jaw drops*ur not my fri

A/N the end sucked badly i need some icing or cookies or ice cream or candy...and thats(im made of cupcakes ice cream and flowers) from a key of awesome vid.


	6. Authors Note

hey guys! i know that most people are out of school already but im not :( so i wont be posting chapters until my last week of school(if im done with them) also, the first week of my vacation is the week eclipse comes out :D. im going to the midnight peremire. cant wait! so here are my reasons for not writing:

excited for Eclipse

block(4got to say that)

So ill update ASAP week is minumum days so i might update then


	7. SO SORRY!

SO SORRY!

I already kicked my self lol. The internet went out at my house, so I cant been able to do anything! BUT I am gonna start a new story. Yeah, your probably wondering why, well every time I have an idea, I write a story around it. So, I don't have ANY reviews SO idk what YOU guys want (the one review I do have, that's my friend. she already read the story). So yeah, keep an eye out for that.

OH and im changing the names to iEmmett and Discusting.

not sure to what yet.


	8. Update

Hey! No, this isnt just an A/N for the beginning of the chapter :-( Here an update on what I'm doing for my stories: 'iEmmett' is gonna be re-named to 'Randomness and Emmett...ness' and I can not write it in an acctual story way :( I just suck really badly at that, sorry. 'Discusting' is gonna be re-named to...I'm not sure what yet, but it'll be re-named(ideas are welcome) lol. And, I might not finish it D:. Idk how to write the next chapter, but I have ideas for the chapters after that :) so...yeah lol. 'The New Girl' I got reviews for that one, so I AM gonna update that one eventually. ***NEW STORIES*** 'Imprint Crazy' is gonna be about the second generation, ALL the kids. The wolves have this reunion, and bring their kids, and LOTS of imprinting happens.(I need names for the kids and imprintees, ideas welcome) 'Mine' is kinda based off the song 'Mine' by Taylor Swift. I kinda wrote part of the chapter before the song came out, so the song suits the story lol. Its about Abby Dawn, she lives with her dad, and as long as shes alive and not hurt, she can do what ever she wants. So, shes really carful with what she does, and dosnt take risks. And either Brady, Collin or Embry will imprint on her... not sure yet(your vote is welcome) And I got a twitter ONLY for my stories. Its: twitter(dot)com/3lianaWrites so check there and there WILL be update like when I'm updating and stuff :) I think thats it...so Bye for now :) 


	9. Surfboard Necklace

A/N this isnt like a reguler story any more :( i was bad at that lol. this is gonna be Re-named to 'Randomness and Emmett...ness' RIGHT after this is posted. With that lets begin

* * *

Emmett-OMG GUESS WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Jasper-CHICKEN BUTTTTTTTT

Emmett-It is only funny when I do it :｜

Jazzy boo-Fine then, what

Emmett-I am not going to tell you, because I do not like you anymore :P

Jasper- okayyy

Emmett- oh fine! Stop begging! I got nominated for a TCA! And I won! :D:DD

Jasper- What! How could I not? :o girls LOVE southern hospitality!

Emmett-I do not know, but I AM SEXIER THEN YOU :P

Jasper- How many votes did you get?

Emmy-Uhhh idk but I got the surfboard :D

Jasper-GRRRRRRRRR

Random reader-RUN EMMETT RUN!

Emmett-who de fuck are you? And what is your phone number? ;)

Rosalie-RAWR!*gets the surf board and tries hurting Emmett in the head with it, but sadly, the surf board breaks and is around Emmett neck*:

Emmett-this is SUCH an awesome necklace! It goes great wi-

Alice-:OO THAT DOES NOT GO WITH YOUR OUTFIT! LET GO TO THE MALL TO GET SOME CLOTHES TO MATCH IT!

Emmett-fineeeeeee

Alice-OMG! YAYY! BE RIGHT BBACK, I'M GONNA GO GET MY WALLET :DDD

Jjaassppeerr-OMG DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

Emmett-nooooooo

Jasper-You're letting ALICE GO SHOPPING! SHE WILL BUY THE WHOLE WORLD!

Emmett-:O OH NO!

Alice-*carries a big bag down the stairs*OK! LETS GOOOO :DD*drags Emmett out the door*

Emmett-if I'm not back soon...call the cops.

Ros-a-lie-RAWRR! YOU WILL PAY!

Emmett-NOOOO IM TO YOUNG TO DIEEEEEE

Nezzie-You're like 100 years old.

Emmett-shut up smart as-

Bella-RAWR! HOW DARE YOU CALL MY DAUGHTER THAT! YOU WILL PAYYY

Emmett-OMG! NO! I'M TO...OLD TO DIE :(

Some random cat-meowwwww

Carlise- The cat is saying something :o it says...meow :0

Everyone-gasps

Sooo idk why I did the TCA thing lol. I did this with 3 hours of sleep...lol no red bull... I have never had a red bull...: O I HAVE AN IDEA FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER :D lol

So did it suck? Make you think I am on crack? Love it? Died laughing and is reading this A/N from the dead? AND I need names and what POV I should do for my story 'Imprint Crazy' just put something like(NOTE: these aren't the official names. Give me some please): I want Jessica(Seth and Bianca's kid)'s POV lol something like that.

BTW, he won Scene Stealer Male if you are wondering :)


End file.
